I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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