Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
