Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
