I love black thongs
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
