yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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