so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
3 2 1 whiskey
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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