I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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