i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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