I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
