I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize