last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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