i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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