I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
