Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm gonna fight the coyote
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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