He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
