God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
