Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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