talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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