Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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