I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
