what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
