She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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