I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize