What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then he peed in my hair
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