Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
