strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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