I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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