the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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