Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
