No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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