Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the day after is always just damage control
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
