I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
