Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
