whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
