Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize