I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
