apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
