Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
