First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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