I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
