It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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