You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
