We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
