I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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