just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
where are my eyebrows?
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