PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
