im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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