white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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