i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
