Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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