If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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