hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
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