Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
