she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
