The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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