nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
