Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
