Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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