I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
