I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize