grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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