yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
