life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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