Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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