I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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