This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
