No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
