I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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