I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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