I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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