when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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