Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
