I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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